The Only Flaw My Body Has Is A Defective Bladder

At thirty-five it has become far too easy for me to criticize the curve of my stomach, which is nowhere near flat, the fine lines under my eyes, which weren't there five years ago, or the slope of my breasts, still firm and perky, thank you. However, the more I think about these flaws the more I realize they are imagined. More importantly,  I have come to realize its not me who imagines them but society which pushes this idea of eternal youth and thinness as an ideal. As though voluptuous age is to be feared and avoided at all costs. 

A few weeks ago I went to see "Mirror Mirror," which was an enjoyable film. The villain of the film, the evil stepmother, is a woman who wants to keep her youth and beauty at all costs. To this end, she exploits the resources of the entire town, abuses her underlings, and tries to kill her stepdaughter. I found her oddly sympathetic. Isn't she trying to do what society tells all women to do everyday? Stay thin, stay young, and above all stay attractive to men. The villain of "Mirror Mirror" is a woman trying to do exactly what our modern society wants women to do; and for that she is vilified. 


Now, let us look at our heroine. She's young, she's beautiful, she's physically fit and reasonably clever. And she is rewarded with the love of not just one man, but eight men. It shouldn't be overlooked that Snow White has the love of not just one prince, who falls for her almost on sight because she is that beautiful, but also seven dwarves who each give her the devotion of a lover because she cooked them a decent meal. See, I told you she was reasonably clever. 


What message is this sending? 

It's quite simple, it is the same message society sends to women in every magazine, film, commercial ad, and television show. A woman's worth is measured by her attractiveness to men, and men value youth, beauty, and enough brains to cook a decent pot roast. Where does this leave women who are aging?  Which is all of us. Well it gives us two choices: we can either try to hold on to our youth at all costs and risk becoming ‘vain’ and ‘self-obsessed’ like the 'evil'  stepmother of the fairy tale. Or we can try to grow older gracefully. 

Growing old gracefully is a far bigger challenge than one would think. It means that one must come to terms with the body and how it ages. Wrinkles are going to happen, sagging is going to happen. Yes one should stay out of the sun and go to the gym, but age is a great equalizer. Live long enough and it will get you. In my attempt to accept that I am never going to be twenty-five again (the year my brain attacked me with a stroke, by the way). I have decided to see my own body with the eyes of a lover rather than the eyes of a stranger. I will care for my body the way a lover would. I will coo over the curve of my hips,  purr over the roundness of my belly, and linger the over slope of my breasts, because doing so is a way to show myself love. I will maintain that the only flaw my body really has is a defective bladder. The rest of me is quite beautiful.