So I was in love..well I am in love. Sadly, my heart has been broken. My love doesn't love me as much as I love him and he has ended our relationship. I miss him terribly. I cry all the time and I can barely get out of bed. As I am unemployed the most I have to do in any day is look for work on-line. So I can in my depression sit here and cry. But this is a blog about IC and not about my love life. Here is what I have learned having IC and going through a break up.
1. I miss chocolate. I don't want to eat anything because I am so damn sad, but I would eat chocolate if I could. So I am faced with the choice, do I give in and eat chocolate and suffer an IC flare up. I am pretty sure a flare up would only make me feel worse.
2. Not eating anything (or barely eating anything) for three days, has some positive effects on my body. One, my bladder doesn't hurt. Probably because aside from water and peppermint tea, it hasn't had to process very much. I've lost about 5 lbs in two days. So my skinny jeans fit.
3. Sadly hardly eating has also resulted in a near chronic headache. I am so weak right now that I can barely focus. So if by this point you are asking why I haven't eaten..simple answer. Food makes me want to vomit. Also I am crying so much that I can barely breathe most of the time, so eating just seems pointless.
4. I haven't had a cigarette since Sunday. If I can keep this up for two more days than I am sure I can officially have quit smoking. Odd to decide to quit in the middle of one of the worst heart breaks of my life, but I haven't craved a cigarette since Sunday.
5. Of course I live in a state with medical cannabis, which is great otherwise I probably wouldn't be able to eat at all and I definitely wouldn't have slept at all. Also the more medicine I take the less I smoke cigarettes, I don't know why this is but it helps me.
6. Dating someone who can't eat dairy when I can't eat anything (in other words, I follow the IC diet and damn that thing is boring) is probably not the best thing in a relationship. We cooked a lot at his place and I made him dairy free shakes along side my vanilla ice cream shakes. But I think it was stressful on the relationship.
Going through a break up is really hard even at the best of times. However, to be 34 nearly 35 years old, separated (and awaiting legal divorce), living with one's mother, and have IC..well not to sound too full of self pity. But its awful. I loved that man so much and I still love him, hopefully tomorrow I will love him a little bit less.
